Monday, November 17, 2008

Cabin, snow, ice, home now........

Hi everyone. On Saturday we went to a cabin up north until today. Life stresses are a huge part of what is making me sick and my body is so not right, my heart is giving me a hard time. Which is something very new to me, so when my heart starts beating fast and hurting (the pain is weird it truly hurts) it is scary for me since I have never felt anything like it before. Maybe this is normal for some people who deal with Bronchitis issues, or asthma, or anxiety attacks but it is scary stuff to me! On Saturday early in the afternoon my mom called me. She hasn't called since she did what she did to my son. I was laying in bed (the place I spend the most time now lol) and my daughter handed me the phone.

The first thing she said to me (Drunk as could be of course) was "Robyn, I am ready to go to rehab now." In the past I would have been the one every time to see that she was taken care of as far as getting her into somewhere, dropping her off at detox, taking care of her house, ect. This time around I CANNOT do it! I told her I would call my brother and sister and call her back. I tried to call them both but could not get a hold of them for hours. In between I decided to take my hubby and kids to a cabin a few hours away for a couple days, because I cannot deal with her stuff right now considering there is a really good likelyhood that the problems I am having started due to the hurt and devastation she caused me in July.

So I found a really nice cabin a couple hours away and called to see if they had opening, they did. So we packed up in about 40 minutes and left with the kids and our dog. I took some pictures to show you all. The cabin was great! It snowed our second day there pretty good. And the two pictures of the ice on the shoreline is how much ice built up in just the two nights, 3 days we were there! Crazy! Our cabin was steps from the lake. I think we are going to go back there this summer when it is warm out because the resort is awesome. It was only a one bedroom cabin, but you will see in the pictures that there were two Murphy beds in the cabin (Which my kids thought was the coolest thing in the world!)

Now we are home again and I would give anything to feel like myself again! My mom did get taken to detox on Saturday afternoon, and was released today. I think the plan is still for her to get into a longer term rehab, but I am not sure. History would show she may back out of it now that she is home and sober from detox.

Part of me really wishes for selfish (maybe it's not) reasons she would get into somewhere because I have SO much I need to say to her and a family week would be the perfect safe place to do it. I need her to take accountability for what she did. I need to have her try to explain to me how even in her drunken stupor she got to that point that her demons took over and allowed her to hurt my kids the way she did! I need to know why the hell it has taken her months to realize she needs help badly! I need to know why she hurt us the way she did and has not attempted to make amends. And I need to let her know just how much she truly did hurt me, and just how much impact her actions for one hours time affected my life every day since!

Enough said about that because I think maybe, just maybe I have alot more dealing on my own part to do and it gets me really worked up just typing about it.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Hugs & Love, Robyn

























6 comments:

  1. Robyn,
    What a lovely cabin. I'm sure it will be fun to go back there in the summertime.Glad you got away with your family. Your mother does need longer term detox. Looks like she's using it to sober up but not to stop drinking. You need to put yourself first for a change. I wish you the very best.

    Hugs,
    Barb

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  2. Loved all the photos of the cabin...looks so pretty. Enjoy your week...hugs and love,
    Joyce

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  3. Hey Robyn!
    So glad you were able to get away for a little while..I love staying in a cabin and would love to have my own someday!

    I will keep you, your mom and family in my prayers...I do hope you get the chance to tell her what is on your mind and get those things off of your chest...

    Big Hugs!
    Terri

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  4. Great pics! Wonderful looking cabin. Glad you were able to get away for a little while with your family

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  5. That cabin at the lake looks like a wonderful get away. I pray you can get this dealt with. My children have been trying to come to grips with their father's alcoholism for many years. I pray all the time that some day he will apologize to them. Take care of yourself. HUGS

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  6. The cabin is sooo cute. I wish I had a place like that to go to. Oh Kyan would love that snow. He doesn't care how much.
    I haven't read yet just looked at pics it's 230am here and I'm tired. I will come back because I want to understand what I'm reading and right now is not a good moment.
    I will catch up tomorrow.
    You sure got it decorated cute.. that header is so you. I love all the pink Christmas stuff. I was gonna do that in my J, but went with the blue. I have several other things too so I may change it up every week LOL.
    Hugs, Chrissie

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