Friday, May 8, 2009

Funny warnings.......... (seriously?? lol)

The red is my little comments to some of these ;)

1. On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

If I were caught in a tornado, that is DEFINATELY what I would grab to protect myself!


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2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY
BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
OPEN OTHER END.

DUH! lol

5. On a New Zealand insect spray -
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO
WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

Genius!

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful
haemorrhoids
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO
THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL
DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5
MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

The hemmorhoid cream won't work unless quiet???

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8. On the bottle-top of a British flavoured milk drink
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST
CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

OK I will make sure not to do that!

11. On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
DETAILS INSIDE.

12. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

versus what sandpaper??

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom
of the box)-
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

Damn, I thought it was going to be cold!

15. On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

17. On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

Dang they forget, chew nuts and swollow nuts!

20. On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR
HANDS OR GENITALS.

Only if your superman!

21. On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.

C'mon it's superman! Of COURSE I can fly. The 9 dollar costume gave me that ability!

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22. On some frozen dinners
SERVING SUGGESTION DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
FITS ONE HEAD.

Who is the lucky "one"??

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

WOW!Is there honestly people out there that need that warning?

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25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

26. On Nytol sleep aid
WARNING MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

But damn I am hungry!

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Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.

You don't say!?

Pepper Spray
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.

Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.

Fix-a-Flat
WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.

Rain Gauge
Suitable for outdoor use.

RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe

Who the hell puts their remote control in the dishwasher??

Pine Mountain Fire Logs
Caution: Risk of fire

Triops Fish Food
Warning: Not for human consumption

Home Depot Treated Lumber
Do not consume

Munching on some wood..........

Road Sign
Caution water on road during rain.

Who would have thunk it??

Camera
This camera will only work when film is inside.

Road Sign
Cemetery Road. Dead End

Church Parking Lot Sign
Thou shalt not park

Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often

Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold

Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.

versus???

Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.

Hershey's Almond Bar
Warning: May contain traces of nuts

JUST a trace? Then I want my money back!

Heinz Ketchup
Instructions: Put on food

and here I always thought you just ate it right out of the bottle!


Really do people need these instructions??? lol Hope you got a laugh outta these like I did!

1 comment:

  1. This is hilarious. I was laughing at the jokes but I could almost hear your voice with those remarks. They HAD to put some of those warnings on there because you know some GENIUS actually did the wrong thing then sued the company. Thanks for posting this.

    ReplyDelete